Discipline FTW – Mindset Monday

Discipline is most important if you’re going to accomplish big goals.

I find that I repeat this in various wordings and journal entries and motivational memes for my vision board.  I tell myself some version of this statement several times a day.

I wish that meant that I was good at being disciplined about writing and exercising and eating well and housekeeping and…

I have some very big goals, and I have some even bigger dreams.  And I struggle to stay on top of my daily chores list to keep my life and my family running more or less smoothly, much less knock off items on my goals list.  I fight with the knowledge that if I sit down to write or paint, then I am not doing something else worthy of doing on my to-do list.  I have to make space to write, and that space will always come from the space of something else I could be doing.

It’s always a dance of time management.  I think I have two left feet when it comes to this dance.  I am always scrambling to keep up with parenting and housework and work work and goal work.  It’s not really possible to do it all well all the time.  I know that, but I still think I should be able to do it all.

Enter discipline.

Superman working out
*This is not me – just to be clear. This guy is awesome, and this photo and more can be found on pexels.com

Discipline does not mean I will do it all well all the time.  Discipline will allow me to work in each space for a focused amount of time while maintaining an acceptable level of slack in the other areas – when I’m good at it, anyway.

Without applied discipline, I have too much slack everywhere, not enough focus on anything, and everything slides to hades in a handbasket.  What I aim for is to keep doing small chunks of maintenance work every day.  I want to spend less time more frequently doing things like cleaning my house or doing laundry so that I can keep larger amounts of time every day open for goal work.

If I spend 45 minutes per day on laundry and housework, I won’t spend 5 hours on the weekend doing it, which is when I usually get to do the most writing and crafting.  (I say this like I’m an exceptional weekly house cleaner – I’m not.)  If I do smaller weekly tasks every day, even if I skip something one week, I will probably get it the next, and maybe it won’t snowball into horrendously ignored levels.

Also, if I manage to stay disciplined on the small things like completing a daily housekeeping chore, I feel less guilt about what’s undone when I sit down to create.  I need to create, but I’m also responsible for a lot of other things.  It’s hard to escape that pressure to get everything else right before I spend time making something, but if I’m disciplined enough to keep things in good enough shape, I can sit down and work on the things that make me happiest without the nagging feeling that I should be washing dishes.

Mostly, I need to practice discipline to actually get the work done on my big goals.  I’ll never get my book published if I don’t do the steps to get there.  I’ll never finish a painting if I don’t sit down and do the sketching and brush work.  It’s great to have goals; it’s better to make them happen.

Every Day Is New

This Mindset Monday is a great reminder that every day is a new day.  Whatever happened yesterday is gone, and you can only work through today.  It sounds like fortune cookie advice, but it doesn’t make it any less true.  We can only live right now – not in the past or the future.  We can certainly remember the past, and we can plan for the future, but we live one day at a time in the present moment.

As an introvert who deals with depression, I can ruminate on the past like it’s my job.  I can lay awake at night replaying conversations and kicking myself for being an idiot or saying the wrong thing (because at two in the morning, I know exactly what I should have said twelve hours earlier).  I can still recall the horror and shame I felt about making fun of someone publicly in middle school (that was a looong time ago, friends) if I let myself dwell on my past.  Bottom line: that mode of thinking sucks.

It’s destructive in so many ways, not least of them being it cripples the way I see myself now and in the future.  It discounts the grace of God to remove my sin from me, as far as the east is from the west.

Living in the past isn’t living; it’s dwelling on something I can’t change in a way that hinders me from moving forward.  I may suffer consequences from choices I made in the past, but that doesn’t define who I am in this moment.  That doesn’t change the fact that I can only work from here, now and keep improving.

As much as the past is no place to live, I am equally good at getting my head caught in the clouds of future planning.  So much so, that I can plan every pound I should lose and how down to the daily menu and workout level, but in doing so end up planning and planning and planning and never stepping into action.  Or I plan too aggressively and can’t accomplish all those plans in the timeframe I allotted and end up feeling like a failure when I don’t measure up to a crazy standard I set for myself.

It’s easy to get excited about planning a goal, but living in the future is just as torturous as living in the past: I can see the thing I want to accomplish, but I’m planning all the time and never doing the grunt work to get there.

So, how do we focus on the here and now without forsaking goals and planning or never honoring the past?  We remember that every day is new.

Every day is a new opportunity to wake up and start again.  Maybe that restart is just to keep going because you’re on track.  Maybe your restart is more like a reboot with a new objective.  The goal with this mindset is just to focus clearly on today, and work through it without getting lost in the weeds of past and future.  It’s grace to let yesterday go and try again.  It’s freeing to let tomorrow go and just do the work of today.

I love these verses from Isaiah because it’s God saying, “Look, that other stuff we just talked about – that was yesterday.  You just wait and see what I’ll do next.  In fact, I’m already working on it, so buckle up, buttercup, and see what happens.” (Obviously, I’m paraphrasing and taking a little creative license.  Although, I’m pretty sure, “Buckle up, buttercup,” is frighteningly accurate in my own life.)

If God never stops moving forward with his work and his plan, why should we?  While God is never limited by time or space, we are, and we should use those limitations as tools to focus on the thing right in front of us first and best.  The things we do in this moment lay the groundwork for what comes next, and if we never get to work in this day, tomorrow’s work will be a mess.

Live today, then let it go.  Every day is new.  Today is a new day, and I must start it new and fresh without the lenses of yesterday and tomorrow filtering out the purpose in today.

I Am, So I Will

I AM

In my planner every day, I fill in the answer to, “If I were a life coach, I would tell myself…”  Sometimes these sage bits of advice to myself are as simple as, “Don’t suck,” and sometimes they are slightly more nuanced.  As I was thinking about what I should be sharing on the blog and in the Mabbat FB group, I decided maybe some of my “life coach” advice could be helpful to someone else.  So, I decided to run with a theme for the start of the week: Mindset Monday.

This week’s mindset is a statement I wrote as my own life coach, and I have used it every day since as motivation.  I’ve actually written it as encouragement to answer the “If I get stuck, I will keep going by…” question every single day for several months.

I am a writer, so I will write.

I don’t have to publish a book to call myself a writer.  I write a lot, and I love to write, so I am a writer.  Writers write.  It’s what they do.  I am a writer, so I will write.  When I get stuck, when in doubt, when nothing feels like it’s working… write.  It can be that simple.

So you’re not a writer, and you think at this moment I’ve lost my mind, and this has nothing to do with mindset.  But consider that all of the things we want to do are just about that simple.  You want to run a 5k race?  You will have to train, but the simplest form of that is to think, “I am a runner, so I will run.”  Of course, you may want to work through a training plan, but at the most basic level, to be the thing, you have to do the thing.  If you run, you are by definition a runner.

Hello I am Getting Things Done

I am a painter.  I am a writer.  I am a poet.  I am a teacher.  I am an athlete.

I do none of those things as my day job, but those are all things that I claim to be because of what I do.  All except that last one.  I have been an athlete, but I am currently out of shape.  I need to lose weight and exercise to be healthier and to be the best version of me I can be for my family.  I have created some training goals and plans, so I am training myself to say, “I am an athlete, so I will workout and feed my body well.”  I can’t really claim to be an athlete as an out of shape blob, so once I say it, I need to follow my motivational statement with action.  As soon as I start working through my training plan, I will be an athlete.  I will be someone who is working out to complete a goal race.

My “I am” statements are simple visualization exercises.  It’s a great way to motivate yourself and see yourself and think of yourself as the thing you want to be.  I am an athlete the second I put on my running shoes and hit the street in the morning.  I won’t be an elite athlete, nor will I look graceful or fit as I begin the journey.  But I’ll be some version of an athlete.

This year I will be an athlete.

How many dreams do we hold back on working for because we think we won’t be good enough to lay claim to the title?  At what point can you claim a title?

I hesitated for years to call myself a writer and feel comfortable saying it out loud to other people.  I felt like maybe I should whisper it, or maybe they would ask how many books I’d published and then I’d be banished and ridiculed for pretending to be a writer.  I wish I could tell myself then what I know now.  I am a writer.  I have always been a writer.  I don’t have to justify that to anyone except God who gave me the gift of stringing words together into sentences.

You don’t have to justify yourself either.  There are things in life we can claim because we have the formal training or certification cards to prove it.  For example, I am a scuba diver.  I have multiple certifications to prove it.  Soon, I’ll be a certified Hazardous Materials Technician, and I’ll have a piece of paper to prove it.  (It’s related to my day job, and it’s been so much fun to learn.)  Here’s the thing about the HazMat Tech certification: I may have a paper that says it, but I’m extremely unlikely to be out in a suit and SCBA working.  I will not be claiming HazMat Tech on my resume, even at work.

I’m not a writer because there is some licensing agency that official certifies writers; I’m a writer because that’s how God wired my brain.  I’m an athlete because I’m naturally competitive, and I’m training to run a race.  I’m a painter because I paint.  None of those things are invalidated by my skill level.  I’m a good writer; I’m an average painter; I’m a lousy athlete.

I’ll never improve if I don’t practice.  I’ll never practice if I think the things I want to be are unattainable.  If my dreams are never to be reached, what’s the point in trying?  That’s how my brain works without, “I am _____, so I will _____.”

I challenge you to think through the goals and dreams you’ve let slide.  Is there one you want to pick up and run with?  What will it take for you to make it happen?  What’s the main thing you’ll need to do or to practice?  What’s your “I am” statement?  I’d love to encourage you on your journey if you want to share it.  You can comment here, and you can join the Mabbat FB group for a more private setting and regular encouragement.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/773975689656609/

I am a dogicorn, so I will be magical.