I’m not quite ready to write about what I’m feeling right now, so I’m sharing this instead. I realized a funny thing about myself yesterday when I posted the poem. It had to be the same feeling the emperor had the second he realized he was naked. It’s not always easy to write, but I worry less about what I write and post now than I did when I started the blog. It’s okay if people disagree with the way I think or feel (they are entitled to be wrong, after all ;)), and discussing it makes me think and examine my thought/belief process even harder. But posting a poem or a story is still really hard for me.
I hover over the “Publish” button and weigh the words waiting for other eyes. Is it too personal? Did I reveal too much of myself? Do I sound like a lunatic? What if someone doesn’t like it? I felt far more exposed posting “Flotation Device” than with anything else I have ever written. In spite of the fact that I make a point to be honest about what I’m dealing with and how I really feel about it, it felt like my soul was a little naked yesterday. I know that’s a little ridiculous, but such is my emotional process. I guess the difference is that a poem is a creative act, which makes it more like sharing my actual self versus sharing about myself.
At any rate, I caught myself doing this hover dance for a good ten minutes yesterday, and it made me laugh at how worried I was about it. 99% of the people reading my blog are my friends, and you guys are great. I appreciate that you will share some of your responses with me, and I know that very few of you would ever tell me if you hated a poem. (And I know the odds are that you will not like everything I write.) I do love when you let me know if I’m on the right track or not, so keep it up! And I will endeaver to be less neurotic about publishing in the future…
Hang in there “Roomie” there are better days a comin I am with you always said the Lord.