The Emperor’s New Clothes

I’m not quite ready to write about what I’m feeling right now, so I’m sharing this instead.  I realized a funny thing about myself yesterday when I posted the poem.  It had to be the same feeling the emperor had the second he realized he was naked.  It’s not always easy to write, but I worry less about what I write and post now than I did when I started the blog.  It’s okay if people disagree with the way I think or feel (they are entitled to be wrong, after all ;)), and discussing it makes me think and examine my thought/belief process even harder.  But posting a poem or a story is still really hard for me.

I hover over the “Publish” button and weigh the words waiting for other eyes.  Is it too personal?  Did I reveal too much of myself?  Do I sound like a lunatic?  What if someone doesn’t like it?  I felt far more exposed posting “Flotation Device” than with anything else I have ever written.  In spite of the fact that I make a point to be honest about what I’m dealing with and how I really feel about it, it felt like my soul was a little naked yesterday.  I know that’s a little ridiculous, but such is my emotional process.  I guess the difference is that a poem is a creative act, which makes it more like sharing my actual self versus sharing about myself.

At any rate, I caught myself doing this hover dance for a good ten minutes yesterday, and it made me laugh at how worried I was about it.  99% of the people reading my blog are my friends, and you guys are great.  I appreciate that you will share some of your responses with me, and I know that very few of you would ever tell me if you hated a poem.  (And I know the odds are that you will not like everything I write.)  I do love when you let me know if I’m on the right track or not, so keep it up!  And I will endeaver to be less neurotic about publishing in the future…

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